W.W.J.D. (with his law degree)?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to to with my law degree. See, in law school, it actually matters what you do with whatever spare time you have (summers, internships, etc.). It’s all about building your resume, trimming it to perfection for the specific career you desire for yourself, and beating everyone else as often as possible. And, generally, law school is a stressful place. So naturally, thinking about the future is exciting, but stressful.

This summer I’ve been working as a law clerk at Keller Rackauckas LLP, a criminal defense firm in Irvine. It’s awesome. Before law school I completely swore off criminal defense because those people could for SURE not be Christian and defend murderers at the same time. Oh, the naivete. I decided after my first semester of school that, since I loved criminal law, I wanted to be a District Attorney or U.S. Attorney, and prosecute those bastards. This summer experience has been an eye-opener to say the least. It’s interesting to see the other side of people: the human side of the murderer and child torturer. Because it’s there. In all of them. Ok, fine. MOST of them. So then I began to wonder… since I’m trying to be this “Christian lawyer” (whatever that means, I have yet to find out), I should consult my conscience and ponder what Jesus would do if he had gotten a law degree.

Wills and Trusts, financial and estate planning: why not? All your money is his anyway, might as well let him manage it and tell you what to do with it. He would probably do a better job.

Real Estate, who cares?: I think real estate law sucks. therefore, so does Jesus and he probably wouldn’t waste his time with it.

Employment, going after employers’ discriminatory practices: I’m thinking of the adultress Jesus defends when he draws in the sand in the face of the judgmental and discriminatory Pharisees. I suppose she wasn’t a prostitute, and Jesus certainly wasn’t defending her “employment” rights even if she were a prostitute, but I think it’s funny anyway.

Immigration, defending those who wish to become U.S. citizens: Jesus was always looking for new citizens for his kingdom. That’s kind of cheesy though…

Supreme Court Justice, the final say: I really can’t see anything closer to “final judgment.” The end all on what everything means, what we’re all here for.

Criminal Defense, defending your constitutional right to a fair trial: in reality, Jesus probably looks most like a criminal defense attorney (no, not exactly like a criminal defense attorney, but go with me). These attorneys pretty much hang out with scum (their clients), and that’s about it. Also other criminal defense lawyers (also scum). He never uplifted the socially and morally blameless (I suppose because he couldn’t find one), and saw people not for what they did, what they were doing, or who they associated with, but for who they were. And loved and defended them against judgment from their peers. Maybe we’ll put Jesus in the public defender category, rather than private criminal defense where you make too much money for your own good.

Prosecution, the voice of the People: prosecutors don’t sentence, so I can’t make another analogy to judgment day. The truth is I can’t really see Jesus as a prosecutor. This doesn’t mean I’ve thrown out my 1L dreams of being a prosecutor. That would just be silly. But I think people are quick to judge criminal defense attorneys for being heartless (really, how DO they sleep at night???), when often times the prosecution is just as, and usually more corrupt that the other side of the court room.

I haven’t decided which kind of lawyer I want to be yet. I do want to be a Christian one. I feel like that will be a task in itself. One thing at a time I suppose. I also don’t think W.W.J.D. really applies in the legal field. I don’t think Jesus cared about law. Not that he was an anarchist. Well maybe he was. I sometimes wonder if becoming a lawyer is a Christian-enough thing to do with my life. I should be out evangelizing or something. Or feeding the homeless at least. The only thing I can think of is that, in today’s world, the mission field looks much different. It’s not the open, dirty wild that Jesus and his disciples wandered through. It’s in skyscrapers in Irvine. Personally I’d rather be in the dirt. I think the American Church has pretty much shot itself in the foot, and has one of the worst reputations as an organization. Seriously. Get over Prop 8 already. Go buy a hungry person lunch instead. I guess my goal with my law career is to gradually chip away at that reputation we have created for ourselves as Christians (intolerant and completely out of step with society).

And hopefully I can show people that it’s possible to be a successful lawyer and Christian  at the same time. But the jury’s still out on that one.

Mother v. God: Claim for Products Liability

You know, studies have been done looking at a first year law student before beginning his or her studies. At the end of the first year, or “1L” as it is fondly called (the book 1L is not realistic, by the way), the tests are done again, and apparently, the shape of a law students brain, or at least its physiological makeup has gone through significant changes (Please don’t harass me for not knowing science, that’s why I want to be a lawyer, math and science don’t matter).

This Friday I have my final final for 1L. Oddly enough I’m blogging, which I hardly ever do, instead of studying torts because torts = boring. However, while making my notecards, I came across a few torts that I found interesting, and I realized that these are the kinds of things the studies begin to reveal about law school: it teaches people who are not particularly competitive (me, for example) to become very opportunistic in a very bad way. I find myself hoping (rather than just being ambivalent toward) other students do poorly on their exams. Another thing I have found myself doing is, in literally any conversation I have with anyone, I can think up tons of different lawsuits to bring. I’m always thinking about who could be liable for something, who has the deepest pockets so you can get the most money, etc. I never thought like this. I was raised in a family where suing people was almost NEVER the answer. Christians don’t sue. Au contraire, mon amie. Hopefully the summer lets my brain take back its normal shape, like one of those foam pillows that conforms to your head and then goes back to normal.

Here are a few tidbits of depressing people (because in order for these to be real claims, tons of people had to have brought them to court in the past) suing people for anything they can possibly think of:

- “Wrongful Conception” a mother’s claim for the negligently caused (presumably because the man didn’t wear a condom) birth of a healthy child. The plaintiff (mother, or perhaps father suing the woman for not taking birth control, who knows, it’s America) can usually recover damages directly associated with the pregnancy and birth.

- “Wrongful Birth” a parent’s claim for damages from the doctor for negligently failing to correctly diagnose the fetus with some type of defective disease. If not for the doctor’s obvious negligent conduct, the mother would have learned about the disease and terminated the pregnancy. Most courts allow recovery of substantial damages associated with the cost of raising a child with a defect. How precious. 

- “Wrongful Life” luckily, most courts will not allow this claim, where a child sues its parents for bringing it in to this nasty, brutish and short life, with a “defect” to boot.

People really do have a point when they say lawyers have a tougher time being Christians than other people. What happened to being in love with your newborn baby? Nope, instead I’m going to sue my doctor because he didn’t tell me my child has tourettes and I would have obviously aborted it had I known. The sanctity of God’s creation has certainly fallen quite a bit from where it all began. 

There are always some circumstances where these claims for relief may seem a little more reasonable. I am not one to only use the black and white crayons. But seriously. Come on. Who even THINKS of that kind of crap?!

Life, Lately

Lately my life has been pretty monotonous: class and reading/outlining/writing papers about transsexuals until 6pm, dinner with Tim, and then a little bit of……

My dear friends and schoolmates Molly, Janelle and Ryan introduced Tim and I to this little gem of science fiction, and I am completely obsessed. Lately I have been a little depressed because we finally finished watching the West Wing last month. I was quite emotional when it was over. I feel complete again. It’s so refreshing to watch well-made science fiction because  most of it is lame. Except for, of course, Mystery Science Theater 3000. Other than that, I think everything else pretty much sucks. Yes, even Jurassic Park. No offense. Well, kind of. The only dinosaur movie I like is The Land Before Time – I cry every time.

Since it is clearly not 6pm, it seems I have gotten off my daily schedule, which tends to be disastrous. So I’m signing off. Do yourself a favor: open yourself up to the lovely Battlestar Galactica.

The Cutest Thing Ever, Seriously

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jVp5cEZx82iGqdb0H_R7uWxRu5TgD9693GT80

 

Hello (blog) world!

I have caved. Here I am.